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Yup, Nope! Not Today

Yup, Nope! Not today..

It is Sunday afternoon I am drinking Diet Pepsi and literally slammed a snack size bag of Cheetos and Oreos. No music. I am listening to my daughter visit with her Dad. I am trying to be calm but if you read what I ate I think you know the level of anxiety he brings.

He is always late for his visits. When he does get here, he stands outside our front porch until somebody lets him in. Today I gave him some updates and reminded him of some appointments and how much everything cost. To which he says “oh … I forgot your check”.I say that’s ok.

It’s not.

But as I mentioned before he hasn’t helped me hardly at all. I don’t trust him to start. It’s hard not to be angry at how little he helps with everything. I texted him asking for our daughter’s dental office number the other day and four hours later he responds with the number and ” I thought your parents handled that.”

When I ask why he doesn’t ZOOM or visit more with our daughter he says because he’s waiting on her. Yup, Nope!

I really try, I  do. I want to get along for our daughter.But he knows what buttons to push and he says he will try but when push comes to shove… yup, nope. That’s Midwest for no. He doesn’t come through.

Which is why we are here.

He didn’t when we were married either. That’s how we got here.

When I was pregnant and we were getting ready for our daughter he didn’t help. Imagine me almost nine month pregnant getting her room ready. Getting the inside and outside of our house ready.I had a hard delivery so we had to stay in the hospital. I reminded him to please clean out your car before you pick us up. 

He didn’t.

It was so bad the nurse wouldn’t let us get in until he cleaned it up.

If you ask him he was always too…



I never did enough.

There are always two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

This is hard.

This is frustrating.

But this is what it is.

And at the end of the day it’s not about me.It’s about our daughter.She’s what matters. So I can continue to try through all of it. No matter how hard it is. And it is.

Let’s be honest, no one gets married to get divorced.All we can is try our best. We have some pretty important people counting on us.

Be safe

Much love Mommas


Dating Post Divorce

Dating post divorce….I have this friend who is recently, finally divorced after a long difficult divorce and traumatic marriage.  She is finally ready to rediscover herself and to start dating again.  She has entrusted me to act as a friend, confidant, and consultant.  During our discussions I have jokingly referred to the fact that a “Dating Post-Divorce” handbook doesn’t exist, so we each have to live our own journeys.  I have relived some of my own awakening in that initial post-divorce period.  I have been able to look back and be proud of the growth I’ve made, the healing I’ve done, and the person I have become.  It seems that the things she and I talk about are common themes amongst all divorcees, so I thought it might be helpful to share with others.  These are things that if a handbook did exist – I wish would be included.


  1. There is bound to be anxiety.

You have survived a marriage that ended, and survived a (maybe painful) divorce.  The thought of doing everything again and FAILING again is difficult to acknowledge and process through initially.  It is ok to be scared.  But try to push through – don’t let the fear keep you from doing things that are important to you.

  1. You don’t have to marry every person you meet, or date.

Dating as an adult with kids is a different ballgame, folks.  You are not obligated to do anything.  Your relationship (or lack thereof) can be anything you want it to be.  Want to be single?  Awesome.  Want to date casually, without strings?  Awesome.  Want to have sexual relationships?  Awesome.  Want to have a committed relationship?  Awesome.  You get to decide what you want, when you want it, how you want it.  Along those lines….

  1. You have power.

One of the most powerful things for me post-divorce was rediscovering myself.  Dating again really helped me to do that.  You have the power to say no.  To start something and not finish it.  The power to speak your truth.  The power to change your mind.  The power to verbalize what you want.  The power to verbalize what you need.  The power to make your own decisions.  The power to control your own body and the choices you make for it.  No one else gets the power to do that for you.  You are in control.

  1. You don’t owe anything to anyone but yourself (ok, and your kids).

You are not obligated to anything for anyone.  See above.  YOU get to make the choices that feel right for you.  Those choices are different for each of us, but we are the ones that have to make them at the end of the day, and own them right choice or mistake.

  1. It’s ok to not know what you want.  

It’s hard initially when you start dating again to figure out what is really important to you.  What you really and truly want and don’t want.  What is a deal breaker and what is flexible.  Along those lines we are told we should “get out there again” soon after divorce, and it feels like everyone is telling us we should be looking for our next husband pronto.  It’s ok to take things one step at a time, and to assess your needs/wants along the way.  As I told my friend….the only question you need to answer after the first date is whether the person you just met is worth meeting again to continue to get to know.  It’s ok to define the relationship as it develops, to continue to float along because your needs are being met and the other person’s needs are being met.  You have the power to pull the plug and move on if those needs are ever not being met.  It’s ok to define the relationship too, if that puts you at ease.  You do you.

  1. Try to let go of expectations.

I’m not sure about you, but this is a hard one for me.  Dating in today’s world is EXHAUSTING at times.  Some of the expectations we carry with us (societal norms, our experience with relationships from those around us, etc.) seem to make that worse.  You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, do anything you don’t want to do.  Neither should be person you are getting to know, or dating, have to be anything they don’t want to be, or do anything they don’t want to do.  Mutual respect between two people, and respect for yourself is key.  You can’t force things to happen in a manner you want them to.  Some things work out and some don’t.  You may get ghosted; you may find the love of your life.  Let things develop and see where they go, without the expectation that it will be anything in particular.

  1. We all come with baggage.

Mine comes in the package of trauma and anxiety from an emotionally abusive relationship.  I had processed a lot, healed a lot by the time I started dating.  But I have had so so much to learn about myself.  My trauma and anxiety have reared their head when least expected in a relationship, and I have had to battle them.  Learn from them.  Learn when my feelings are an old response, or triggered by my past.  Learn when I can trust my gut and when I can’t.  The person you are dating may have baggage too.  Treat theirs in the manner you hope yours is treated, with patience and respect for them.

  1. We ALL make mistakes.

What’s important is what we learn from them.  The same concept we teach our kids applies to us too.  That leads us to….

  1. Be patient with yourself and kind to yourself.

This is a learning process.  At times it seems fast, at times slow.  At times you know what you want, at times you don’t.  At times the stress is high, at times the savoring and enjoyment of life is prominent.  Wherever you are at, whatever your choices, be patient with yourself and kind to yourself.  You would do the same for others.

Happy Dating,


I Think I Can

“I think I can”…..The Little Engine That Could.  Have you read the book?  If you have not, it’s a must! The subliminal message within ‘The Little Engine That Could‘ ,speaks volumes.  These are the kinds of books, stories, words, that mold our thinking.  They open our mind to a new way of thinking.  They push us beyond the place where we might give up.

I read a quote from Henry Ford once that I keep in my back pocket:




Think about that statement.  Our egos can be so powerful that the brain believes what we think about.  Our actions are then generated from that thinking.  If you think you can….most likely… you will!  If you think you can’t, there’s not even a chance of succeeding.  You’ve already talked yourself out of it, you’ve already given up, and most likely you’ve already got a stack of excuses as to why you can’t.

Some of us are so committed to being right that we aren’t even open to something different, we aren’t open to expansion, creating new or giving up the old.  We’d rather be right.  We’d rather stick our heels into what might not be working, so that we are right.  We’d make someone with imagination and ideas, wrong, because we NEED to be right.  That my friends, is the EGO working overtime.

There’s a difference between CAN’T and WON’T.  For instance, I won’t skydive again.  I take ownership of the action required.  I’m not selling out or quitting.  I’m declaring that I won’t.  Here’s a can’t.  I can’t do 100 push-ups in a row.  So if I choose to be successful in this quest,  I get to rephrase it to “I’m not physically able to do that BUT I can do 4 sets of 25 and work my way to 100.”

Start with something small that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t succeeded.  Look at the words you’re using to describe it and rephrase it so it works for you.  I think you can!

Go Get It. 


Your God girl


Keep Getting Up

Keep getting up…..2020 is over, and for that I am grateful. The hope and anticipation that 2021 would be better seems tenuous at best. If how this year has started is any indication of how the year will be, I’m concerned.

My late wife’s Toni’s words, “disappointment is OK, and we are still happy” rings in my ears. What are my choices? Check out now? Well that’s not really an option. All there really is to do, is get up, and keep walking. It is one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in life. No matter what, keep going. Some times it’s harder than other times, but I simply point my finger and say that’s where I’m going. 

I heard a quote that went something like this “the sin isn’t in falling down, it’s in not getting back up.” The interesting thing is that every time I get back up I am stronger because of it.

The other thing about the past year is that for all of the “bad” things that happened, it seems that everyone has created a deeper community than they had before. I bet a year ago if I said the word zoom, you would’ve thought about the function of a camera lens, or the noise a  car made driving by, but now that word is ubiquitous.

I come from a family of seven, two parents and five boys. It was always my mother that would bring us together at least once a year, after my father passed away. And I admit, if it wasn’t for that we probably would rarely have seen one another. How I know this is true? After my mother passed away in 1997 I can think of maybe one or two times that we have all gotten together. But now since the pandemic, I meet with my brothers on zoom every two weeks. 

Work meetings now occur regularly online rather than in person. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are now all done on zoom. Church services, rotary meetings, and most community meetings are now done via zoom. Zooms popularity went from 10 million meetings per month in 2019 to 300,000,000 per month in 2020.

All of us have been knocked down this past year, yet we continue to keep getting back up. And we also have a deepened or expanded our communities. I know I’m talking to more people than I had before. I’m writing more cards than I did before. 

So, although 2021 at first appears to be just more of the same, looking from a different angle, it looks promising. I’ll continue to get stronger by continuing to get back up, and my sense of community will also continue to grow.

Keep getting up!


New Year, New Fridge, New Pantry, Tips on Organizing-Part One

New Year, New Fridge, New Pantry, Tips On Organizing…

Another top New Year’s resolution is to de-clutter and get organized. I have to admit, I LOVE when all of the cute containers, planners, and organizing gadgets make their debut in early January. 

Clutter unfortunately doesn’t just stay in our closets or behind closed doors/drawers. It can invade our refrigerators, freezers, and pantries as well – a place we and our family members access several times a day. 

Why does it matter that we have an organized and clean refrigerator and pantry? And what does any of that have to do with our health and wellness? Well, it has A LOT to do with it! Have you ever been so overwhelmed by your refrigerator that you just grab whatever is easiest to eat- regardless of how it impacts your health goals? Perhaps you have a hard time cooking a healthy dinner at home because the kitchen is just too chaotic and un-organized and you don’t even know what food is there. 

This is why it matters that we maintain a clean and organized refrigerator and pantry situation. The more aware we are about what we have in our kitchens, the easier it will be to stick to our healthy eating goals. 

Maintaining a clean and organized refrigerator and pantry will not only make going to the refrigerator less stressful but it will also save time and energy when putting a meal together, especially at the end of a busy day. Stress-free meal preparation will not only save our sanity but also save your health goals. And of course, there is the money factor. In addition to saving time and mental energy, keeping an organized fridge and pantry will also result in money saved. Less food will be wasted because you won’t forget what you have and you won’t overlook ingredients and re-buy, hence helping you save money!

Here are 4 Steps to get you started on creating an organized refrigerator for 2021

Step 1: Remove everything from the refrigerator and freezer and wipe down all shelves and drawers using a mild soap and hot water. This will give you a fresh start and also help you take inventory of what you have in there (and what items need to be tossed because they are expired). 

Step 2: Toss any expired foods. 

Step 3: Adjust your shelves. Most new refrigerators/freezers have adjustable shelving and drawers- take advantage of that! Since most of us buy the same items time and time again, find a place to store said items in your fridge and adjust your shelving accordingly. This will help you stay organized and optimize the space you have. 

Step 4 (Optional): If you are really wanting to maintain a clean, organized fridge space, you can line your shelves and drawers after you clean everything and before you re-organize. Be sure to use a heavy-duty, water resistant shelf liner. Using a liner can help make clean-ups from spills easier and cleaning out your crisper drawers from fruit/veggie debris a lot easier too. 

Here are 10 quick tips on how to creatively organize your refrigerator so that it can stay that way and decrease your stress, help you stay on track with your eating goals, and put more money in your pocket. It’s a triple win! 

  • Store the same things in the same place every time you grocery shop. This way you will always know where to go to find the ingredient you are looking for and you will know when you need to buy more/replace the item. 
  • Group like items together- condiments, meat, vegetables, cheese, etc. 
  • Stack to save space, especially if you are storing bottles or cans. Try a bottle/can dispenser so you can get the most space out of stacking your cold beverages.
  • Keep your most often used items front and center and easy to grab. You can also keep healthy snacks (pre washed and pre-cut veggies, fruit, etc.) front and center so you are more likely to grab those when opening the fridge for a snack. 
  • Use your fridge doors for condiments, butter, cheese, juices, etc.
  • Use clear containers to keep like items together. You can even purchase ones with handles to make it easy to pull out and take to a prep area. Maybe you have a sandwich making bin with all of the ingredients to make sandwiches for lunches. You can also use labels to label your clear containers. Be sure to use clear containers so you can easily see what is inside. 
  • Stick kid snacks at eye level where they can easily reach without making a mess. Perhaps you even use a special bin for the kids snacks to keep them separate and organized in the fridge. 
  • Use drawers to separate items, especially produce. 
  • Always rotate items when you grocery shop…bring the older item to the front and the fresh items behind it so you can use the older items before the expiration date. 


See you next week for Part 2 when I give tips on organizing your pantry!

Meghan Meredith
HomeBodySoul, Founder
Certified Health & Wellness Coach,
Certified Personal Trainer



‘The Heat’ TWSM Movie Review

‘The Heat’ TWSM Movie Review

What do you get when you cross Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in a movie together? Two strong comedic actresses who gel so well together that you can’t get enough of the two them! And the end of the movie?  Well, it only leaves you wanting more!

Sandra Bullock plays, Ashburn, an uptight FBI agent assigned to work with a Boston Police Detective who grew up on the wrong side of the streets.  Whereas Ashburn is poised, refined, and uptight, Melissa McCarthy plays Mullins, the exact opposite of Ashburn with her foul mouth, sloppy dress and overall messy demeanor. 

The two are assigned to bring down a local drug lord.  Mullins isn’t happy about this arrangement from the beginning.  She doesn’t need any help from the FBI.  Ashburn, on the other hand, is eagerly looking forward to bringing down this felon and receiving a desperately wanted promotion within the FBI.  

The relationship between the two starts out rocky, to say the least.  They are opposite in every sense of the word.  Ashburn wears dressy pant suits, which at one point while working undercover in a bar, Mullins tells her she needs to change her look because she stands out by “looking like she’s there to do their taxes”.  Mullins dresses, well, “casually” to say the least.  Let’s just say that she didn’t have to change her look to go undercover at the bar.

After going through many tough and comical situations together, the two women slowly come together as co-workers……and friends.  They end up forming a comradery that not everyone is fortunate enough to achieve in this lifetime. 

As I always say, I love to laugh and forget about the outside world.  There are many outlets in which to do this:  time with family, watching funny shows, playing games, vacationing, spending time with friends, among many others.  Throughout “The Heat” we learn that women actually CAN form sister-like bonds.  Not all relationships between women are “catty” or “jealous” in nature.  Friendships are formed when barriers are broken, walls are torn down, and no matter what avenue it comes from – a trust is formed.   

People say first impressions are everything and to some degree I believe this is true.  However, many times first impressions are based upon a fear of being less than what one thinks the other expects from them.  Don’t let something like that ruin a potential good relationship.  After all, the only thing certain in life is change.  Don’t let fear of someone’s potential opinion of you ruin the possibility of a new bestie!  Enjoy watching!


How To Extend A Hair Washing

I am not into washing my hair often, I am always on the move, I blink and three days go by without my permission. I’m a once a week washer mainly because I am a workaholic and don’t give myself have time to wash and blow out my hair when I get home. I’m typically in and out of the shower because I have one million other things on my to-do list before I go to bed & prep for the next day. She’s booked and busy. 

These are my tips for extending my hair wash cycle. 

  1. Wash your hair super freaking good. 

Lather every inch of your scalp. Top, Bottom, Sides, Middle, Behind the ears (my person favorite). I use a scalp scrubber from Amazon that my cousin gifted me, it’s better than a salon wash. 

  1. Do not go too high up with a conditioner. 

I wash my scalp & condition my ends. Never the other way around. You want to keep the natural oils on the ends and away from your cranium. Putting a conditioner on the scalp near the roots will have your hair oily before you even get to enjoy it. 

  1. Style your hair. 

Do something, anything! A blowdry will get your hair starting the week correct. Sometimes I air dry my locks & wear braids to sleep then fix whatever pieces don’t look cute in the morning. I did that 3 days ago and I’m still wearing the same waves. I added a few more bends in the texture this morning but she is still going strong.

  1. Don’t touch your hair. 

If you’re a hair toucher or hair flipper… you need to stop. Your hands have oils on them, touching your hair will just make it oily and flat. Ew. 

  1. Dry Shampoo. 

No matter the question, the answer is always dry shampoo. I apply dry shampoo right after my initial style of the week because it prevents it from getting oily quickly. I also apply dry shampoo BEFORE going to the gym because it’ll suck up any sweat from your work out. 

  1. Serums. 

On the ends! I don’t know what it is about my hair that the roots get so oily and my ends get so dry. My preferred cocktail is serum on the ends, dry shampoo in the roots & texturizing spray everywhere else. 

  1. Braids. 

Once my hair gets so dirty it drives me crazy, I’ll braid it and wear the braided look for a few days. The little hairs around my ears bother me the most! I just want to pull them out. Once my hair is done looking cute I’m so tempted to cut it all off. I want it out of my face, I don’t want to feel it at all. But because I’m high functioning-lazy, I’ll just braid her. She adds diversity into my look & I love it. I like braiding my hair when it’s dirty because the braids have more grit to them and stay intact longer (life hack).

Well that’s all folks, let me know if you do any of these tricks @Selena_WillCutYou. See you next week! 



Am I Parenting Right?

As a parent you just do not know if you are parenting ‘right’… it starts when they are babies, then moves to toddlers, then continues right through the school years and teen years.   And here I am.. Knee deep in the teen years.  

A couple years ago, I started to go through giving my oldest daughter some independence.  I have always given my kids some freedom and independence until I felt they could not handle it.  It’s a definite struggle to just step back a little and give them more and more independence.   

I remember when my oldest started staying up later and later, I knew eventually she would have to figure it out that she would need more sleep.  Eventually, she realized that if she wanted to make it through the day with school and practice, she would need to not stay up late watching netflix.  

And now I am going through my middle daughter trying to gain herself some independence.  And this has been the biggest test for me.  I have realized that all of my children are so different.  It just boggles my mind, how really different they can be.  So here I am thinking, well my oldest daughter handled it, I am sure she will be fine also.  News to me… 

I have learned that they both handle independence and responsibility very different.  And it has been a definite learning curve. I feel like I am tested daily with this one.  My oldest was motivated by getting to be with her friends.  She is very social and enjoys sleepovers and hanging out with them.  If I ask her to do something or follow certain rules, she does it because she gets to see her friends.  

Then we have my middle child…. She is very smart and school comes easy for her.  She is content being at home and does not ask to do much.  She loves her netflix and watching tv.   A couple months ago, she asked to switch to complete distance learning and we agreed with some expectations.  I thought this would be a good test at some independence.  We gave her six weeks and then we would evaluate how it was working.   It was a complete shit show… missing assignments, missing classes, and grades falling.  

So, we discussed that after Christmas she would need to return to hybrid.  Now, it should not have been a complete shock to her because the weeks leading up to this conversation, we discussed her grades and missing assignments, along with the importance of getting them in.  

It is the day she is suppose to return to school and she just doesn’t go.  I tried all of my tactics and bargain tools, nothing worked.  Now, with my oldest, taking her phone away would have done the trick.  I am pretty sure that the words “boarding school” came out of my mouth.  I might have even mentioned that the principal might show up at our house… good god, I sounded like my mother 30 years ago, I was rambling… and my daughter knew none of those things would happen.  

I do not even know why I was trying, I knew how strong willed she was…and I knew when she made up her mind it was stuck.  

And now she has still not returned to in-person school.  Of course, she is doing her learning still from her bedroom and of course, she is actually getting up on time, but she will not return. I have tried everything to get her to go back to school and she just will not do it.  She has no phone, no tv, or no electronics.  I am sure her friends wonder what happened to her….but she seems to not care.  She is ok with the consequences.  

And so here I am, still in awww on what to do.  I have asked my friends, I have read numerous articles, but still everyday I am wondering if I am doing it right. I wonder if I am not doing enough or doing too much.. Should I just give in or should I have more consequences.  Honestly, its a gamble. And I am sure 20 years from now, we will laugh about it.   

And the reality is, each of my children are so different.  They function so differently.  Just when I think I have them figured out, another curve ball.  And I am stuck thinking… how many more years until I finally figure it all out….


There’s No Parking On The Bridge

I was chatting with a friend the other day and he was telling me a story of a time he met a young man at 1230 am on a bridge. The young man was sitting there, next to his bicycle and back pack. This young man was sad, contemplating, reflecting, remembering. My friend said to him “There’s No Parking on the Bridge”.  They talked for the next hour about choosing new thoughts for your life.

My friend and I talked more about how important it is to keep moving forward in our lives. To keep looking ahead and making things happen for each new day. How “Parking on The Bridge” can lead to unnecessary stagnation, pondering and maybe even regrets.

Since there’s nothing we can do about yesterday – except forgive and ask for forgiveness – we won’t get those times back, we might as well start over.




It reminds me of when I was a kid and I’d get to have ‘do-overs’ with my two girlfriends.  The 3 of us had a pact where we could have a ‘do-over’ if we said anything that hurt another’s feelings. We’d actually make the noise of a cassette tape rewinding so we could start again with different words.

Right then and there we’d create a new outcome. We did not let each other get away with being mean, even if it was supposed to be funny. We didn’t let each other go home mad. We made sure there was no regrets at the end of the day between us.

I want to live like that now. No Parking On the Bridge! Take my bicycle and keep peddling. Keep my eyes open to what’s around the corner or up the bend. What I can create new?  

Won’t you join me?



Your God-girl


‘Wild Comfort: The Solace of Nature’ TWSM Book Review

‘Wild Comfort:The Solace of Nature’ by Kathleen Dean Moore

If you are looking for a nurturing read to start the new year, Wild Comfort: The Solace of Nature by Kathleen Dean Moore is a great choice. The personal essays in this book explore the natural rhythms of nature from sorrow to gladness using imagery that is both soothing and thought provoking. 

Kathleen Dean Moore is an essayist, activist, and professor who brings together natural history, philosophical ideas, and creative expression in her books. She lives in a college town at the confluence of two Oregon rivers and writes about living in the lively places where water meets land. 

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Wild Comfort: 

“There is meaning in the natural rhythms of dying and living, winter and spring, bones and leaves. Even in times of bewilderment or despair, there is the steadfast ground underfoot — pine duff, baked clay, stone turned red in the rain.” (Introduction) 

“I was happy then, standing in the surge with lines of moonlight catching on my rubber boots. This is something that needs explaining, how light emerges from darkness, how comfort wells up from sorrow. The Earth holds every possibility inside it, and the mystery of transformation, one thing into another. This is the wildest comfort.” (Introduction) 

“But how do you keep the bad stuff from lodging in every corner of your mind, I asked Hank. Pay attention to the present moment, he said. Every moment we are wondering at the path of wind across the water or smiling to see a dog rest in the sun, we are not rehearsing our misfortunes. Every moment we are glad for the twilight of morning, we are not vexed. It is impossible to be at the same time grateful and spiteful.” (Gladness) 

Wild Comfort was recommended to me by a friend. To be honest, as an “indoor girl” who loves the great outdoors when the weather is ideal, I was a bit skeptical of a collection of essays about nature. I am so glad that I read it! In this crazy 2020 year of ours, it hit the spot. I recommend that you brew a cup of your favorite tea, grab a soft blanket, and soak up the beauty and solace of Wild Comfort. 

Rating 4 ½ out of 5 Stars

Copyright 2010 by Kathleen Dean Moore 

Liz is a technical writer by day and a humor writer by night. She lives in Minnesota with her younger daughter and their cats, Beau and Phoebe. When Liz is not reading, writing, or searching for new books to review, she can be found practicing yoga or enjoying time with friends and family. She is savoring the time that she has left before her younger daughter flies from the nest, yet she is also secretly looking forward to a time when she can travel more and not worry about anyone borrowing her socks.