Author Archives: staff

How To Stop Pouring From An Empty Cup

How to Stop Pouring from an Empty Cup…. 

As moms, and even more as single moms, we are constantly giving of ourselves to everyone we seem to encounter. We give to our kids, we give to our family, our friends, our work, but the one person we often do not give to, is ourselves. It was a little over a year ago, that I realized I had to stop, because I could no longer pour from an empty cup. I was exhausted and drained, but I just kept going. I was making decisions based on the good of the others and not on what I needed for my personal growth and mental health. 

I was out to dinner with some friends, my first night without my kids in quite some time, and I realized I again made a decision because I felt like I needed to, I had to, when deep down inside all that my poor mind and body wanted was peace and quiet. Now, don’t get me wrong, the friends I was with had become an important part of my journey and my life, and it isn’t that I didn’t want to be with them, but where I was at that moment, I needed to choose myself and I chose what I thought would make others happy. I realized I could no longer go on like this and I had to start doing for me. So, while at dinner I made the choice to start pouring back into myself. 

I made the decision to start this new lifestyle, start a new path where my choices were now what was going to be mentally and physically beneficial to me and not to others. I felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders within minutes of making this decision. People started seeing a difference in me, but it was never about others noticing, it was about me noticing.  I started really looking at who was in my life and did they push me to be a better version of myself, did they understand when I had to put myself and my choices first or did I get crap every time I gave an answer, and ultimately could I be my 100% true and authentic self around them without any hesitation or filtering.

The later of this ended up being one thing that I had to really looked at a lot, because let’s face it as single parents our time to be around adults without our children is quite limited. When we have the chance to be around others, are they people we can be truly open with or are they people you do not get beyond surface level type stuff with? Do you find yourself sitting around with them, wanting so much to have adult conversations about what is on your mind, but also know some of them will not be listening to truly try to understand, just listening to respond?  I found myself having this internal struggle of do I do what I need to for inner peace and to pour into my own cup or do I just continue down this path? 

I chose to do what I needed to do for me and pour into my own cup. I made the choice to step away from a group of people not because I do not love them or care about them or because I want them completely out of my life. The truth was I felt like I had to hide parts of me, my story, and my feelings or thoughts from many of them. We all met working through the same thing, but the truth is outside of that same thing I did not feel I had much in common with most of them beyond that. I could laugh at the same jokes, I could tell a funny story, I could talk about my kids, but after that I found myself not feeling like I could share anything deeper.  There was no one at fault for how I felt, it was just me listening to my gut. We all have heard that saying about how we see more than we ever let anyone know, and I study people’s verbal and nonverbal responses, so if I feel as though responses are not welcoming or open minded, I just don’t share . As soon as I made that choice it felt so freeing. I know that most of them if not all of them did not get it, and that is ok, because what I was going for was pouring back in to my cup, and not necessarily making sure I was filling someone else’s again. I found myself with everything going on in the World, I was pouring every ounce of me into my kids and my work, that by pouring just that little bit back in to me, made me feel like a new person.   

They say that when you can speak freely without hesitation that is when you know you are with the right people, and I finally felt that I did not have to hesitate anymore. I found I no longer felt guilty for having to say no to going places and doing things. I found that if I did not have my kids and needed to just stay home in my house for peace and quiet, I could do that. I found myself pouring into my cup again, sipping a to-go margarita on the couch in my pjs, without feeling guilty. 

So, to all of you out there who are pouring from an empty or almost empty cup, its time to take some of that back for yourself. Find something that makes you happy and do it, find something that does not make you happy and stop doing it, stop pouring into too many people without first pouring into yourselves. We are always going to pour in to our kids, as we are supposed to do, and we will always pour ourselves in to work because we have to, but beyond that the next cup we all should pour in to is our own. So, grab a pitcher, fill your cup, and while you are at it sip your favorite drink, wear your comfy clothes, and do what makes you happy. 

 

~~ JES <3 <3 <3

Masculine Femininity

Masculine Femininity…I was reading my devotional this morning and it talked about the drive, the doing, the go-go-go that we can easily live with every day.  I am realizing, as I sit here, how different my life is now, than it was a few decades ago.

Growing up in the Boston area, I was surrounded by that mentality.  Go. Get. Do. And I took it on like a tight leather glove.  I had a FT job working 9-5 in Corporate America.  Working my way up the corporate ladder, stepping on whoever I had to step on, getting where I was going and being dang proud of my success.  I learned at a young age that if I wanted anything in my life I had to grab the bull by the horns and go get it.  

I also had a PT job a few nights during the week and on the weekends working at a local restaurant/bar.  I raked in the money as the bartenders acknowledged…I was one of the best.  They called me BoomBoom, as I zoomed around the bar selling more drinks than 3 other waitresses put together.  I got it done AND had soooooo much fun in the process.  The PT job brought out the joy in my heart while the FT job brought out the drive in my blood.

As I sit here today, 900 miles from Boston, now living in Fort Wayne, I can clearly see how the personality of Boston molded me into a woman on a mission, with tenacity, discipline, and gumption.  My masculine energy took over as a single mom.  The masculine essence of being organized, goal oriented, accomplishing, doing, etc. is what allowed me to raise my son on my own.

But that girl changed over time.  I realize now that it was necessary for me to survive.  I do not live to survive now… I live for love and heart felt moments, and happiness surrounding me.  I live with feminine essence engulfing me, the soft, wild, captivating energy.  The relaxed life with a space full of giving and receiving light, joy and radiance.  I still have masculine tendencies which help me get the lawn mowed and the pictures hung.  But it’s my feminine tendencies I love most.

xoxo

Your God-girl

Tracy

Saving Photos From Text Messages

Saving photos from text messages…

I know that if you’re anything like me, you are sending and receiving text messages all day long. Within those texts are most likely pictures too. Many of them are disposable, like the pictures of a cat rolling on the floor in seven different poses. Yet there are times that you receive photos that you really do want to keep. Thankfully, all photos in text messages are not automatically saved into your camera roll. If you want them there, you have to move them yourself. Here’s how to do that.

Open the messages app and go to the conversation that has the pictures you’re interested in. Press and hold the image until options appear and tap save. That will now be in your camera roll. If you have an iPhone 6s or earlier, tap the photo then tap the box with the arrow coming out of it and choose save image.

If you want to save all of the pictures from one person, again open the text message conversation where the images are, then tap on the person‘s name at the top, and tap the info icon. Then scroll down on that screen all the way to the bottom and choose, see all photos. And now you can select all of the images that you want to save at once. Once you are done tap save at the bottom left.

Understand, that typically photos sent by text message are usually a lower quality. So, if you want a higher quality photograph, always send it through email and choose the resolution size you want.

We all love our pictures, and carry a professional quality camera in our pocket. Now you have a way to keep from having to always scroll through your text messages to find that one special photo.

~Steve

Fall Back Into Good Habits

As the slow, dog days of summer come to a close and the fall is upon us, our minds begin to shift towards our back-to-school routine and family flow. Now, our fall routines and schedules likely look a little different this year due to COVID-19, but there are still some ways we can use this change of season to reignite and refine our goals and habits.  

It can be challenging to not let our mood and behaviors be dictated by the shift in seasons. Instead of letting ourselves slide into the shorter, darker, colder days of fall and winter that I think we all dread, we can instead view this shift in seasons as a time to jump start healthy habits to carry us through the remainder of the year. 

It’s easy for our healthy habits to take a back seat during the summer time…and that’s totally okay! In fact, I think for many of us, 2020 has caused a lot of our healthy habits to take a back seat due to all this year has held. If you’re anything like me, it’s been a struggle since March when all of the craziness began and our lives were turned upside down. 

Our routines and habits should shift in the summertime. I am not saying they should all disappear entirely either, but summer is the season for margin and to live a little slower and savor a little deeper. Those three to four months of the year are precious! So sit back, enjoy, and live a little. 

But with summer in the rear view mirror and school and with fall ahead, it’s the perfect time to reevaluate schedules, routines, and habits. Because after all, we can’t live in summer mode all year long. 

So, how can you fall back into good habits this school season? Here are some tips for how you can fall back into good habits in your home, body, and soul this Fall. 

 

HOME: Create Morning and Evening Family Routines and Systems.  

I don’t know about you, but life runs so much smoother when we live by routines. I am a believer in living a lifestyle of flexible routines. It’s important to build in margin for the moments when life happens and things don’t go as planned, hence the flexible piece of “flexible routines”. But we can’t live each day flying by the seat of our pants either. How do you find a healthy, practical, and attainable balance? Enter systems. Maintaining a lifestyle of flexible routines is possible through the creation and implementation of systems. What do I mean by systems? I mean creating daily habits that keep things moving around the home and with your family. Systems and flexible routines make daily life predictable, practical, and gives us more bandwidth for purpose filled days. When the necessary tasks of life are built into our days, it gives our head and heart more space to be emotionally present and to enjoy our time together because we know we have a plan in place to get the daily things done that need to get done. And don’t be afraid to include your children in the implementation of these systems! Sit down as a family and discuss how each person can contribute. Allow your children to take part in truly being a part of the family and contributing and taking on more responsibilities. It will empower them and also build a spirit of unity and teamwork among your family. 

Here is an example of a morning and evening system that you and your family can implement and adhere to for more joy filled days. Obviously this is just an example and you can choose the tasks/chores that are important to your family to consistently maintain each day so that you can love each other better under the roof of your home you all share. 

Morning: Make the Bed, unload the dishwasher, quick tidy, family morning prayer time before everyone heads out for the day. 

Evening: Dinner clean-up, quick tidy before bed, family reading time, prep backpacks, lunch boxes, and shoes for an easy morning the next day. 

 

BODY: Fit Family Fun. 

What if we shifted our thinking to simply more activity and less exercise. You don’t need to move within the walls of a formal gym for your movement to be formative. Take it outside. And while you are at it, bring the family with you. With the heat winding down, now is the perfect time to take an evening stroll post dinner or play ball outside after school. Or you could do one of my all-time favorite fall activities- take the family apple picking. It’s a great way to get in steps, eat yummy, fresh produce, and spend quality time together. 

Moving together as a family is a win-win for everyone. It helps you stay in shape and find the time to exercise, a common barrier for a lot of moms, and it helps your kiddos burn off energy from the school day. Plus- you get to do it together, which is always fun! What a great way to teach your children about stewarding their body and health well starting at a young age. 

 

SOUL: Set social media boundaries and socialize. 

Social media is a blessing and a curse. While it is a great way to connect and remain in touch with family and friends from afar, it can very easily run our days if we don’t set boundaries around screen time. If we are not mindful and aware, our screens can take precedent over the people right in front of us. Take some time to think about and examine your relationship with social media and your phone and set realistic goals as you enter into the fresh, fall season. And if you need a little help along the way and some accountability, iphone has a ‘screen time’ app where you can set time limits for certain apps such as Facebook and Instagram. These limits have tremendously helped me to set my phone down more often, look up, and be present. 

One of my favorite quotes and mantras to live by is that said of Annie Dillard: “How we live our days is how we live our lives.” This truth should permeate our everyday decisions and help us to keep running the race of healthy, positive, and life-giving routines and habits. I don’t know about you but I want to look back at my life when I am 80 years old and know that I lived each day with purpose and presence. I want to know that I ran the race well despite whatever hurdles I had to hop over. Living a lifestyle of healthy habits requires discipline and hard work. It takes effort to establish these routines and what is most valuable to your family, but the hard work on the front end is well worth the feelings of freedom and simplicity on the back end. 

Be graceful with yourself and your family as you enter into a new season and work to establish new habits. We as a family sit down and re-evaluate our systems and routines a few times a year. As seasons change, both physically and metaphorically, it’s important to recognize that and adjust accordingly so that everyone can thrive in their unique spaces while still maintaining a healthy and close family unit. 

While it’s sad to say so long to summer, I hope you feel a newfound inspiration to create healthy habits for yourself and your family going into this new fall season and the remainder of 2020. This year is not over yet, so don’t throw in the towel entirely just yet.  The fall is one of my favorite seasons because of it’s golden beauty, crisp air, and many opportunities for gatherings. Embrace this new season for all of its beauty and make the most of these last precious months of 2020. Who knows…your 2020 may redeem itself during these last few months of the year?! It’s worth a shot- your physical and mental health depend on it.

Meghan Meredith
HomeBodySoul, Founder
Certified Health & Wellness Coach, Certified Personal Trainer

 

Good Intentions Gone Bad

Note from Noelle: Tribe, Terese will be sharing more of her story that is not often talked about— mental illness and suicide— my job is to give a VOICE to things that are difficult in a POSITIVE and uplifting way— this post does just that, it is the story of a Mother’s triumph over unexpected circumstances that life dealt her. She is truly a WARRIOR of the highest degree and I hope that you will be blessed by reading her words. I was.

XO, N.

I recently had a conversation on Instagram with someone who had commented on a meme I read. The meme posed the question, “Don’t you hate having flashbacks of things you wish you could forget?” My mind automatically went to my husband’s suicide. Flashbacks happen to me, often. They’re very real which is why my daughter’s and I moved out of my marital home after he died. Flashbacks, nightmares, my girls dreaming he was going to walk through the front door, were all very real things. With my good intentions, I posted a comment, which I rarely do, saying “Yes, I do hate those flashbacks. It’s very painful.” My phone immediately sounded a ding with a response that said, “Deal with it, move on. It’s that simple. ” I had to digest that for a few minutes because I couldn’t believe someone could give such a simple response. I’m not one to give knee jerk reactions but I had to respond explaining that it’s suicide trauma that I suffer. It’s kind of hard to just deal with, and move on. It’s really not that simple. She quickly apologized for my loss and wished me well. Thanking her, I recognized the good intentions, but the comment lacked a little depth and consideration for what people might have gone through. Both sides, both points, well taken. We moved on.

I have found suicide is not a comfortable subject. It’s one of those things that is often taboo to speak about. People don’t know how to respond or have a conversation about it. Most of the time people don’t think I’m widowed. Although sadly, I see more young widows, with pressures of society being too much stress for a husband to handle. I’m a single mom with two kids and it’s very often assumed I’m divorced. Being divorced and widowed are entirely different.  My children are often given something to give to their Dad. I still get mail addressed to “us”. I’ve had questions about my divorce schedule only to find out I have my kids 24/7. There is no break. I’ve had people say nothing to me at all because it was awkward, and they didn’t know what to say. I’ve been told, “you may find someone, you may not.” All good intentions, gone bad. I’ve learned to accept that people just don’t know what to do or say sometimes. They say the wrong thing, unintentionally, or they say nothing at all. It’s my job to be comfortable in my own situation so I can put others at ease. I can easily say my husband committed suicide, and after the gasp and, “I’m SO sorry”, I say thank you and we move on. It’s exhausting though sometimes. I recently had someone ask me a question about my husband in front of my girls and they cringed. It’s funny the presumptions we make.

Thinking about the initial post about flashbacks, fears, etc, the amount of stress a widowed parent holds on their shoulders is immense. I am NOT negating the fact that we ALL have stress, but I have fears that divorcees may not have. If something happens to me that’s it. There is no going to live with Daddy. I am the sole breadwinner. My every move will affect my girls and I have to make sure nothing happens to me. Of course I can’t live in a bubble, but I’ve tried to which is even more stressful. Covid hasn’t made it easier.

Comments I’ve gotten have really made me be more aware of the people around me. I try being careful not to blurt something out of my mouth. I try not to assume, ask personal questions, or make judgements by what I simply see. We really don’t know what people are going through and at the risk of sounding cliché, we haven’t walked a day in their footsteps. I’m here to tell you, If you don’t know what to say, you can just say, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I believe at the core, most people have good intentions. If we live by the general rule of being kind and thinking of others, maybe we won’t make as many slip ups with our mouths. Being kind is the number one rule in our home. If you’ve been offended or hurt by others regarding your situation, whatever that may be, remember that good intentions gone bad are still good intentions! I’ve learned to let go of a lot, and not have expectations that everyone knows what I go through. That way I’m not disappointed. We all slip up, but I believe for the most part, people mean well. I don’t let social media bring me down. I keep it to rainbows and unicorns.

Use it to better each other, uplift, and learn from other’s experiences! We can make it through another day!

~Terese

You can see the start of Terese’s story here:
https://theworkingsinglemom.com/suicide/

Some Relationships Need Caution Tape

Sometimes we do not see the signs in relationships that might need caution tape…  We are blinded by the chocolates, the flowers, and the balloons on your birthday… sometimes we can not see around all of the hoopla to see if this relationship is right for you…

The caution signs that our friends and family can see but we can not…

The making plans and then breaking them last minute…let’s have a happy hour on Thursday and then breaks them because he’s too tired.

The excuses to not make committed plans but can make plans with others…not sure if i can see you on Friday and then sneaks off to a buddies cabin…

The manipulation of making you feel like you did something wrong when you didn’t… ohh I really wanted to see you last night but you had plans with your friends…

You are in a rocky patch with your boyfriend and so he says he made a surprise getaway with you next weekend.. knowing you would never be able to go since you have your kids all weekend… He gets upset because you can’t go and then you find out after the fact that he never made the plans.. he just wanted you to believe that he was trying…

The poor me statements… “you don’t understand me”… can we just get together and I can explain.  When you get together nothing is accomplished.. many compliments are given but no concrete plans are discussed to make changes.

The “ohh ok then have a good life text” and then 10 minutes later you get a 3 page text on everything you did wrong on in the relationship.

Sometimes we do not see signs of caution in our own relationships to know its not working .. its like a constant roller coaster.. the highs and lows.. The highs feel great, but then its not too long and the lows start again.

You want to believe that things will change.. you want to believe the roller coaster will end.

I feel like many times I was holding on to hope that the relationships would change.  The reality is.. if he really wants the relationship he will send the good morning text.. he will follow thru with happy hour.. he will make the effort to meet your friends..and he will plan a weekend when you can go…

I was in a relationship in the past, where I would actually count the good days or I would say to my friends, “things have been good for 4 days”.   I should have ended that relationship a lot sooner than I did.  Relationships are hard, they all have ups and downs, however I am pretty sure that counting good days is never a positive gauge of a relationship.

Sometimes its hard to just do nothing but it can be the best test….to have patience to see if he reaches out, if he follows through with his plans, and if he shows you that you are important.

It is hard to sit back and wait for any of those actions.   Giving the relationships some space, may make things clearer to you.  Many times in my life, I wanted to rush everything along, but its important to sit back and observe.

I have been the friend that had to point out the signs and all the lows of your relationship.  I have been the friend that reminded you of how disappointed you have been.  I have been the friend that reminded you of how you had to cook your own birthday dinner last year.

I have also been the friend that needed to be reminded that I needed to use caution tape.  I needed the reminders of how I felt after all the cancelled plans over and over again.  It is about taking the time to notice the behaviors and using caution… having the patience to see what is best for you.

 

-Snarky

 

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

The Guarded Mom

The guarded mom….

Normally I write these and tell you about the song I am listening to and what I am drinking. No music but milk tea. Lots of milk tea. It’s my new favorite thing.

There are quotes all over Pinterest about guarded women. I would take it a step further and say I’m a guarded Mom.

I realized this a long time ago but this weekend it came front and center. My daughter was trying to get in touch with her Dad to tell him about her grades. Her texts kept bouncing back. I found this out when I heard her crying in her room. I got my phone and put him on speaker. When I started to explain to him what happened he started to get defensive as he does. My daughter gave me a look. I was able to diffuse the situation and she was able to tell her Dad about her grades.

I want to tell you I haven’t spent the last eleven years diffusing everything but if you read what I write. You know that’s not true. And it’s exhausting. I have to think about everything I say. Everything I post. Even writing these blogs I worry sometimes.

My constant diffusing has meant I also keep certain parts of me to myself. I have only taken one vacation by myself. My daughter has only met one person that I have dated.  Up until I started writing and doing radio again all my social media was private and most of it, still is.

I worry when I do go out somehow my ex husband will turn it around on me.  That worry has made me say no. That worry has made me put things in place so my daughter will always have someone when it can’t be me. That worry has made me appear anti social. To some like I don’t care. That I’m closed off.

The thing is I care with my whole heart. I made a promise to my daughter the first time her Dad broke her heart I would be as she calls me- her knightress.

Sometimes a Knight has to guard her heart, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have one. She’s just keeping it safe for battle.

Being a Mom is the best thing, the hardest thing and my favorite thing.

Be safe.

Love you Mommas

G’s Knightress

Caprise

TWSM Book Review ‘Project 333’

Book Review of Project 333: The Minimalist Fashion Challenge That Proves Less Really Is So Much More

by Courtney Carver

Why not try a fall fashion challenge? Whether you are out and about (at least somewhat) or entirely house-bound during Covid, ​Project 333​ can refresh how you look and feel. I read Carver’s book and took the fashion challenge. At first, the idea of limiting myself to 33 items of clothing for 3 months seemed silly and not feasible, but I ended up loving the concept. I wear my favorite things more often, and I also mix and match my clothes in ways that make my life simpler, and am still in fashion.

There were several things that made ​Project 333 ​approachable for me. This is not a “throw out most of your wardrobe and give it all to charity challenge”. She suggests carefully choosing the items to include and then simply putting the others away for 3 months. The fact that I could technically back out at any time sounded good! Also, there are basic items that you don’t count in the 33 wardrobe items — lingerie, socks, jewelry that you wear everyday, and clothing that you only wear at home or for working out in aren’t included.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from ​Project 333:

“If there are one or two outfits in your closet that you really enjoy wearing, create a uniform with your 33 items and wear very similar things each day. Use other examples you might find on the internet for inspiration and experimentation, but give yourself room to be you and decide what you want to wear.”​ (Chapter entitled “Messy”)

“I prefer wearing clothes I can live in, clothes that fit my body as it is and not as it ‘shouldbe’ “. ​(Chapter entitled “Crazy”)

“Seeing the outfit you wore to an event that made you sad will make you sad. Holding onto your ex’s sweatshirt or your old work uniform can make you sad. You don’t get to hold on to people, relationships, or any part of the past just because you are holding on to the stuff.” ​(Chapter entitled “Emotion”)

By trying the Project 333 challenge, I found that less really can be more. I wore my favorite colors more often, threw together outfits more easily, and didn’t have to let go of any of the signature jewelry that I love. If you are ready for a change this fall, I highly recommend that you give Carver’s book a try.

Rating 4 stars out of 5

Copyright 2020

Liz​ is a technical writer by day and a humor writer by night. She lives in Minnesota with her two teenage daughters and their cats, Beau and Phoebe. ​When Liz is not reading, writing, or searching for new books to review, she can be found practicing yoga or enjoying time with friends and family — usually around a fireplace or a lake. She is savoring the time that she still has with her daughters under her roof, yet she secretly dreams of being an empty nester who can travel more and not have to worry about other people borrowing her socks.

My Car My Life

My car … my life

The only thing a rear view mirror is good for is to see what’s behind you.  It doesn’t give you any insight as to what’s around the corner, it gives no enlightenment to the opportunities that lie ahead nor does it give you a sneak peek as to who’s beside you giving you support.  Only what’s behind.  Hence, why it is called rear view.

It is best to have your eyes focused on the windshield more than the rear view.  As you watch where you’re going and see what lies ahead, you can maneuver as you go.  You can look further down the path & decide if you want to turn or go straight.  As the journey of life meanders, just like your car on a long windy country road, you can enjoy the scenery, coast along & be in the moments that surround you.

There will be times that you have so many things going on in your life, you feel like you’re on an expressway and you better be alert throughout the whole chapter you’re in or you could lose focus and end up in a mess that you never saw coming.  If you get that glazed-over look, the one that comes after a long, hard day…you might not see clearly what is right in front of you.

The side mirrors are just as important.  Check in to see who’s beside you, who’s moving at the same rate as you, who’s moving in too close and who just left the scene.  In your life….  Can you trust the people all around you?  Can you watch by their choices where they’re going and if it will impact your path or not? Are you able to continue forward while enjoying their presence beside you or are they a threat?

And always be aware of your blind spots.  Like in a car, you have to be very aware you have them.  Can you see when someone is manipulating, playing or controlling you?  You want to be sure that you have a good sense of your blind spots.  Is one of your blind spots to believe everything people say?  Is it to ignore what they say because you need them in your life?  Is it to wear your rose colored glasses so it appears to look different than it really is because you don’t want to know the truth?  Do not ignore your blind spots.

Be aware of what’s happening behind, in front and beside you…in your car and in your life. Be alert.

 

xoxo

Your God-girl

Tracy

Be A Good Listener

Be a good listener…I was in my office the other day and overheard an interesting conversation…

Mary was telling Kim (not their real names) about what her boy friend said to her that hurt her feelings. Kim said that she knew just how she felt because her boy friend had done something similar to her just last week. Kim then went on for a good 15 minutes describing in detail her incident. I’m sure her intent was to help Mary feel she wasn’t alone. Yet I’m not sure that’s what Mary felt.

I confess that I do the same thing sometimes. I have to catch myself and remember that who I am talking to didn’t ask for my advice or my commiseration. They simply wanted someone to listen to them. They don’t want me to fix anything, they want me to hear them. Hear how they are feeling and what they think.

We all yearn to be ‘gotten’, to be heard and understood.

More upsets are solved by listening than by offering advice. Dale Carnegie’s principle; Be A Good Listener, Encourage Other To Talk About Themselves is another pathway to more fruitful relationships.

Let’s all focus on being a better listener. We have two ears and one mouth for good reason… We should listen twice was much as we talk.

Be a good listener,

Steve