Tag Archives: life

Experiences Teach Us So Many Life Lessons

I’ve had a lot of experiences through my life, both good & bad. Time and maturity has taught me to handle things differently than when I was 20 years old. I know that I have mentioned before that when Noelle asked me to start blogging, I was scared to death and very hesitant on if I had anything to offer anyone. I have no degrees in psychology, therapy or anything other than my marketing and the same degree that everyone else receives from living, that degree is Life.

I don’t know if anything I have said throughout the posts has helped anyone or if I expect it to. Writing has helped me, that I can attest to. I like to think I have made a difference to someone, somehow, somewhere. But really all I have to offer is the lessons that I have learned through experiences. And sometimes that’s enough for someone to see that they too can become who they want and know that they aren’t alone.

Life isn’t easy-I use to look at someone and think “if you only knew”..and then I remind myself that what is a walk in the park for me may be the hardest thing they have ever dealt with. That perception came with maturity. We’ve gone down MY”I am a victim” road many times. I have stayed on that road many times, it does no one any favors.  It takes a lot of work to find the balance between life, work, wants, needs, expectations, love, family and the list goes on. I never want anyone to perceive that I have all the answers or the know all to everything because I mostly certainly don’t. My only hope is that I am helping someone in some way.

 

 

Love To All-Kim

Learning To Love You Before Anyone Else Can

Learning to love yourself first, before anyone else can or will, or learning to like others when you’re not even sure you like yourself is quite difficult.

Right after the split with my first husband I was not a pleasant person to be with or have to deal with, I have mentioned this before. I didn’t like myself and I am not sure if I didn’t even enjoy myself why I thought anyone would enjoy me. That’s a tough pill to swallow! It’s very humbling.

I took some time getting to know myself in those days, weeks, months to follow. I look back now and realize that some of it was not all my fault, I was under the thumb of people throughout my entire life making sure they did their best at breaking me down in much of everything I did. Some of those people I didn’t get to choose to be in my life, they were there, family….some of those people were my choices. I gravitated towards those types of people, I became one of those people. I was learning to dislike everyone, everything around me., including myself.

I think it’s really important on occasion to take inventory of your life and wonder if the people you have surrounded yourself with are there for your best interest. What is your best interest? That’s a million dollar question that has to be answered by starting within yourself. Misery loves company. Kindness is contagious. You all know the sayings. If you don’t have respect, kindness, love, expectations for yourself, how could or why would anyone else?

Ask yourself what your expectations are for yourself? What do you like/love about yourself? Do you respect yourself? Are you kind to yourself? It’s ok to be selfish. It’s ok to worry about learning to love yourself first.

 

Love to All-Kim

The Next Chapter In Life

I just went out for lunch with my  dear friend, whom I have mentioned before, and we had a lengthy discussion on the chaos that has continued in her marriage (which I have also mentioned before). I unfortunately have already been through what she is currently going through, many years ago,and I am about 10 years older than her as well. I guess with age comes more insight? LOL!

With all that being said, I had a lengthy discussion with her last week and finally convinced her it was time to get some counseling together, separate, and as a family. And at the very least, the state we live in requires mom & dad to go through a counseling program before granting the divorce, and that would put them that much further ahead of what was going to be expected if they divorce.

She came to me today, upset, scared, nervous and certainly not excited! She says she is scared that counseling will cause him to leave her once and for all and that she doesn’t want that to happen…she sees that as a bad thing. I see it as a good thing and I hope it causes him to shit or get off the pot. I am tired of seeing him put her and the kids through this……

She deserves to be happy to her standards, HER STANDARDS, not his or anyone else’s. And it’s ok if her standards are what some may call picky or asking too much because honestly who is anyone to say when it doesn’t directly affect them! I told her this is the time that she gets to end that chapter of her life and start the new one…that SHE and only she, is writing this chapter, the new chapter…

That goes for everyone, you are in charge of your story, and YOU get to pick who is going to be in that story. If someone thinks your requirements are too much, they can carry on. You get one life, why would you waste it living it the way someone else wants you to live it? Now I know that outside forces cause things to happen that are out of your control and cause the story to go in a different direction for a bit, I honestly do understand all that…BUT your standards and expectations of people in your life do not need to change based on that. NEVER, EVER! If you choose to listen to advice of others, it should be because you have made that choice, not for any other reason! If you have been writing your story based on everyone else’s choices for you, start your next chapter, today, for you!

Love to All-Kim