Reason-Look for the Lesson.
I am a firm believer in the statement ‘everything happens for a reason’ and I look at every uncomfortable situation in my life and try to see what it wants to teach me. Sometimes I see the lesson right away and sometimes I just have to trust that it’s there and that I will see it eventually. I have learned some of my most valuable lessons from the people and situations that have distressed me the most. When you are open to the possibility of being contributed to by every event in your life the unpleasant events seem to go by faster.
I have also learned that one of the best ways to diffuse an attack is to apologize for something right in the middle of it. For instance, “I’m sorry that you feel I’ve insulted you”, or “I’m sorry that you think I hurt you on purpose”. People attack you because they want attention or they are unhappy with themselves. If someone attacks you in conversation and you do not respond or you apologize this will diffuse the situation. A person can only fight with you if you let them. You cannot argue with someone who refuses to be engaged by you.
I have been told that what we don’t like about other people represents something that we don’t like about ourselves. If this is true the first action would be to forgive ourselves for all the things that we find unacceptable. If we can forgive ourselves successfully then we can move ahead to start forgiving others. Truly, truly everyone is going along doing the best that they can for who they are—maybe it’s time we stopped being so hard on ourselves and others.