Dating these days is just insane compared to the way dating was when we grew up or even when our parents grew up. The internet has met meeting people easier, yet I think it has made “real” relating much harder. I have learned from personal experience that the relationship that you can develop with someone over the phone and via text is NOT the same once they are standing in the room. No, I did not internet date by the way…any of you that know me know that I am not a fan of internet dating or online dating profiles. The influence of being raised old school I suppose.
Here are some do’s and don’t’s of dating. We are also going to start answering your dating questions, which can be emailed to us at firstname.lastname@example.org and put Dating Question in your subject line or you can message The Working Single Mom FB page.
Here are some simple dating ‘rules’ to consider. Enjoy.
- Finding a romantic partner is NOT the end all be all, it is a nice addition to an already healthy and functioning life. LIKE and LOVE yourself first, be comfortable in your own company, don’t be looking for someone to fix or solve your life. Only YOU can do that.
- Do NOT, we repeat DO NOT date someone to try to fix or save them. Don’t fall in love with their potential—SEE CLEARLY who they are right in the moment and pay attention to that.
- Don’t pay much attention to pretty, romantic words or promises. WATCH WHAT PEOPLE DO. Their actions will tell you EVERYTHING, just keep watching.
- If you see a red flag early on—pay attention and get out then. Don’t make excuses for behavior that doesn’t work. The longer you let it go, the worse it will get and the more attached you will get.
- DATE—like actually go out to dinner, for a walk, to a movie, to a museum. TALK in person, get to know each other. If you have sex too soon then you will introduce emotions that don’t yet belong there—be patient….what is meant for you will find you.
- Do not be a needy, pain in the ass…do not act like a psycho. Don’t call 5 million times, don’t text incessantly…let him give chase…don’t you dare chase him and don’t stalk him…Please act like the grown-up woman that you are, a woman that has a great life of her own to live.
- Do not sell yourself short and do not act like a pathetic, desperate woman that needs a man to make her life work, there is nothing less attractive than that to a real man…and any man that likes you to act like that has issues of his own…so stay away from him.
- A first date is not an audition for marriage. It’s just a tryout for a second date. This is a process and it takes a good, long time to see who someone really is.
- If someone tells you they are too damaged, untrusting, neurotic, creepy etc—then they probably are so get the hell away from them:)
- If something doesn’t feel safe then it probably isn’t. TRUST YOUR GUT. Go on first dates in public places and meet them there, don’t get in secluded situations with people until you have a good sense of who they are, please!
These are just some points to consider—don’t forget start emailing us with your questions and thoughts on dating.