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I Never Forgot When Someone Told Me This

“Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.”

Day 2 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge:

I have been told plenty of things by others about myself, most of them transparent and generic. Kind words but probably not genuine. The things you’re suppose to say in certain situations. I am guilty of doing that as well.

There is one person in particular who has always told me that he believes in me. I am a vocal, independent woman who has had some made for tv moments and years in my life. I have been beaten down, broken, spiteful, bitter and angry. I have huge shoulders and carry a lot of personal weight and responsibility for others in my life and sometimes I just need a turn and need the support of someone too. He often tells me he believes in me and that is just enough to get me back where I need to be. I believe him, I know he does, and I also know that If I fail or fall he will still believe in me. He believes in the person that I am and the person that I strive to be. He is genuine and shows it daily. He is not generic and transparent and he proves this every day. And the reason I believe him is because he is here with me through every good and bad moments of mine, accepts that those moments are his too and we share the excitement, pain, sadness, and joy together. He believes in me and I believe in him. I will never forget. His constant belief in me has helped me believe in myself.

Love to All-Kim

 

 

Writing For You And Me

Writing is not my thing. I love to talk and feel like I have sound advice when visiting with friends. I must admit when Noelle came to me and asked if I would help blog post a few days of the week my anxiety skyrocketed. There is plenty of stuff going on in my head and I can always seem to find something to talk about. My kids say that I will carry on lengthy conversations with perfect strangers. I don’t know how to put all those thoughts and conversations into words and transfer it to paper so it can be sarcastic when needed, funny as called for, and so on. What do our followers want to hear or what would I be able to offer? I started searching on my ever favorite Pinterest for writing prompts, journaling, challenges. I found some useful information and also some useless. It still doesn’t tell me what YOU would like to see/read.  I am not exactly convinced that I am all that interesting 😉

This is where I want to ask you to be involved. I found a 30 day writing challenge and am going to do it, I would LOVE for you to join me. If you want to share your answers please feel free to do so! I feel like maybe this is a way for us to get to know each other some.

My Day 1 is today and my top 10 things that make me happy are:

  1. God
  2. Husband
  3. Children
  4. Health
  5. Extended Family
  6. Friends
  7. Financial Stability
  8. Job
  9. Chocolate
  10. Bread

What are yours?

 

Love to All-Kim

Being Grateful Even When You Don’t Feel It

Being grateful on those days and periods of your life where everything is just a perceived disaster can prove to be beyond difficult.

I spent a lot of my earlier adult years being pissed off at everything, huge chip on my shoulder for what I thought was the crappy cards I was dealt. Angry about my childhood and how much I felt it wasn’t fair, marrying my “high school sweetheart” only for it to fail less than two years after being married, not taking advantage of the opportunity I had to go to college, the list continues on. And maybe I was dealt some crappy cards throughout my youth, I made the decision to get married when we both knew it shouldn’t of been. I made the choice to not go to college at that point in my life. Somewhere along the years I decided that I was not going to continue feeling sorry for myself, it was a huge burden on my mental and physical health, relationships with family members and peers. I was lonely, depressed, angry, bitter, and hateful. My friends and family would avoid me and I knew it, at this point I didn’t know why but eventually a close friend finally told me that I was a “Debbie-Downer”(that’s putting it nice). She left that night and I was hurt, and still angry-probably even more angry after that conversation and of course it wasn’t my fault-it was theirs. Couldn’t they see that I had a crappy childhood?!? Didn’t they see that my marriage was a disaster from the get go?!?! I cried, I cussed, and everything else someone does when they are hurt and angry. And honest to God something dawned on me that night-this is not who I am nor who I want to be.  I needed to wake up each morning and be grateful for at least one thing, and write that one thing down, EVERY DAMN DAY! Grateful that I have the option to get up every day, grateful that I can write, grateful that I have something to write with, and something to write on.

There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for in each and every day. And maybe one day it’s making it another day-think about that, let that sink in. You are alive!

Love to All-Kim

Create A Memory Space

Creating A Memory Space

I have always been sentimental since childhood and have kept various memory boxes throughout the years. Twenty one years ago I attended my first workshop and was introduced the concept of creating a mindful or intentional “Memory Space”.  That weekend gave me clarity about why I felt the deep desire to keep certain items around me and why I derived such comfort and pleasure from them.

As you can imagine I have had many over the years and they tend to change or rotate at various times. I know most of us are extremely busy, life today moves at a much faster clip and we don’t always take the time to mindfully create a space that is just for “Us”. I’m sure some of you might even say to yourself, who has the time or space.

From personal experience, I can share that it is so worth the time and it can take as little as 10 minutes or it can be an ongoing process that evolves as you do.

The most important part of creating your space in my opinion is making it an intentional activity and not seeing it as another “thing” you have to do.

There is no wrong way to create your Memory Space as it is a very personal practice and will be different for everyone. During this time in my life I have several all representing different aspects of what is important to me and what I want to create intentions for. By no means am I saying you need to have several, however I really believe having a space dedicated to what brings your heart joy will add richness to your days.  Examples…one for memories concerning your children or one for memories concerning family or people close to your heart.

Based on your preference, these can be created in a ‘public’ place in your home or office where it is seen by all or it can be completely personal and tucked away in a place for your eyes only.

You may want to create this as your sanctuary, a place to pray, set an intention, meditate, or simply gaze at the objects that bring you joy.

Someone once told me that ”a memory space is a place of non-ordinary reality held within ordinary reality.’

Now don’t get overwhelmed in thinking it needs to be in the perfect place or a certain size. It can be large or as small as your night stand, it could even be located inside a cabinet or a closet.

For those who have one or may know a little about them, as your might be aware, there are many types and ways of doing this. I suggest that those interested in learning more to do research. There is a plethora of information out there.

My intention is, for those of you new to this concept; to make it as simple and enjoyable as possible. It is something I love and really wanted to share as my first blog.

So let’s begin!

  1. Find a space in your home that feels most comfortable and that you will want to spend time at or at least, that you will be able to see every day.
  2. Be in a peaceful mindset as you de-clutter, clean and prepare the surface.
  3. Find a cloth, scarf, or any type of covering that feels special or is symbolic to you.
  4. Set your intention and or purpose for the space – some examples could be that you want to honor loved ones who have passed on, recall moments of joy that you have had or simply just have a space to put your favorite things. It can also be a combination of any and all of the above.
  5. Give thanks and gratitude as you place each object in the space.

Some suggestions for object you might want to consider;

  • A candle
  • Stones or shells that hold special memories.
  • Personal items that have meaning to you.
  • Crystals – always a favorite
  • Artwork, either your own or loved ones, favorite postcards or anything visual that inspires you.
  • Photographs of family, friends, beloved ones, places you either been or want to travel too.
  • Statues and or talismans any symbol that represents peace and tranquility.
  • Flowers, plants or any living thing like a fish. A fish is a symbol of prosperity.
  • Any special texts, words of wisdom or your favorite book.

Always remember that this is YOUR Space, trust that your intuition will guide you to create exactly what is needed in this moment. When you spend time or gaze upon your Memory Space, honor who you are and how far you have come.

Wishing you all that your heart desires!

Kirsten

Questions or Comments kirsten@fortunatopartners.com

 

 

Be Complete In Every Moment…

A dear friend of mine had an unexpected loss recently…a family member had died unexpectedly in the middle of the night from a heart attack…She called to tell me and I just kept saying over and over “Oh my God” and then I started to cry.  My friend said she loved me for that…she has a hard time with emotions and it is difficult for her to ask for help or support…my greatest gift to her has always been to express whatever is there…I have always supported her to be complete in every moment.

I talked with her for a long time and I told her that people would say a lot of different things to her over the next days and weeks…most of it kind but meaningless as the majority of folks can’t handle death and they will do whatever they can to avoid it…those are the people that say things like, “she is in a better place now”.  Those of us that have experienced death and not run away from it will tell her the truth…it is horrible, there is nothing more awful, you will have some very dark days and then the shock will fade some and the tears will come less frequently and you will get up and move through your days…you will laugh again and you will be less sad, however there will not be one day that you don’t miss the person you have lost and there will be some days where it seems again unbearable.

In the midst of it all if you are a fully functioning person there will be laughter mixed with your tears, there will be some anger at the loss, some “this isn’t fair” conversations in your head, some doubt of God’s plan…however those of us that have faith in something bigger than ourselves trust that life has a natural order to it and that things happen as they should even if we don’t agree.

Mostly people suffer greatly from a death when they are incomplete with the person that died…when they are still holding a grudge or the last words they had were in anger or they didn’t say that “I love you”…or they didn’t call enough or visit enough…or take time enough to tell people what a gift they are.  Those are the undelivered communications that bring you to your knees when someone leaves in an untimely and unexpected fashion.  Undelivered communications are what guilt and remorse are made of, I don’t recommend them.  I was taught at an early age to be complete in every moment…for some people close to me that means an “I love you” almost every time we speak…I think they tire of that, but I don’t care much because I know that if anything out of the ordinary happens I have delivered my message.

Walking my friend through her initial shock jerked me back to when my grandfather died…that is another reason people don’t deal well with the news of death because it causes them to momentarily relive whatever loss they have experienced and for some folks that is an unbearable thought.  People do strange things with death…which is funny because we are all going to leave this planet one day, one way or another…so it seems like there should be less fear and more acceptance.

People might leave this place, however the people that we love are never, ever gone…they are as alive as we make them.  My grandfather’s pictures are on my bedroom wall, in my hallway and on my desk…I think of him every day and often I can hear his voice in my head still advising me…and I am confident that he has sent certain people into my life to keep his watch…there are pieces of advice that he gave me that continue to shape my life…so for me he is still very much present.

Granted there are several people that I feel like I couldn’t live without, yet I don’t live in fear of them dying…life has a way of taking care of us if we let it…however we have to let it, which means a certain amount of trust in the process must be present…for many of us this isn’t the case.

You Always Have A Choice

Fear comes from thinking thoughts that scare you…you always have a choice…you can choose to think about things that keep you moving forward or you can choose to think about things that stop you.

I highly encourage you to choose to deliver your undelivered communications—unfinished business is bad mojo especially when people die unexpectedly…

Divinity In Action-Loving The People That Have Harmed You

Christmas Countdown, Day 15

People tend to review things at the close of the year…and often that leads to thinking about people that have behaved less than stellar toward us…so here are a few of my thoughts on that…

The being able to stand in the face of someone that has betrayed you and love them and bless them is a great gift…this is Divinity in action, this is the stuff you can’t learn from books…these are the lessons that come from looking into ourselves and seeing how we can emulate God-like qualities…loving the people that have harmed you as you love the people that are easy to love is a level of mastery…this loving is called unconditional love and it is the way that God loves us…no matter what we do or how horrible we are God loves us still…shouldn’t we be loving each other in that same way?

That really is the only thing we have to take with us from this life—the way that we love each other…you know that saying, “you never see a U-Haul being pulled behind a hearse…”

God-like qualities are lessons in forever; the rest of it is just fluff… Oh and loving them doesn’t mean we need to stay around them or let them continue to treat us in ways that don’t work…just to be clear some people need to be loved from far, far away…

Some Advice From Papa

Some Advice from Papa…

Christmas Countdown, Day 14

My Grandfather was my rock and I wanted to share some of him with all of you…

*adapted from ‘advice my father gave us’…written by my mom, Toni Stone

“Thanks to Papa we know how to get up every day even when we would rather not.

We know that no one else is going to do our work for us.

We know what’s past is OVER and GONE.

We know that when we leave something it is for a reason and once we are done we don’t go back…because the reason we left is still there…

We don’t try to live in yesterday or get it back.

We keep GOING, NO MATTER WHAT.

We remember that disappointment is not the end of the world.

We know people will screw us over unwittingly, unconsciously or on purpose.  We won’t be stopped by it. We won’t take it personal and we WILL keep a good eye on them after that…

We will also stay tuned to all the players…some people aren’t wrapped too tight, some are living in another reality, some don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground and others are just cruising through to see what they can get every day.

We remember that 75% of people have to be dealt with very carefully and some of them are dangerous characters…we remember to WATCH WHAT PEOPLE DO, not listen to what they say…actions speak volumes…promises are lip service unless followed up on with actions and results.

We do not count chickens before they are hatched.

We always have cash, just in case…”

Creating The Life You Want For Yourself

As we approach 2017, it’s a good time to start thinking about the life that you really want to create for yourself.  How to begin creating this life for yourself can be difficult. How do I get what I want, what am I willing to give up, how will I have to change, who will it affect? All very overwhelming thoughts.  Today I am simply going to ask you to start living in three questions and writing down your answers…as we get closer to January we will do more with this.

What do you want?

Who would you have to become to get it?

What would you have to shed about yourself to make that happen?

Eliminating Fear-Policing Your Own Thinking

Eliminating fear requires the vigilance to police your own thinking.  You have to be able to swap a fear-based thought for a more positive one.  The whole ‘thought swapping’ thing that I have been talking about over the past few days is difficult to do.  It is a moment-by-moment practice. My mother has always told me that fear is thinking thoughts that scare you…and really that is true.

When you realize that God is in control there really is nothing to fear, easier said than done I know…yet worth working on.

 

Building A Strong Foundation Through Wisdom

I have been pondering two words over the past couple days…foundation and wisdom.  Webster’s New World defines Foundation as ‘the base on which something rests’…this leads me to consider how many of us, myself included, live our lives resting on a solid foundation.  When you build a structure it has to start with a solid and strong foundation, if it doesn’t the structure won’t hold up.  In order to have a successful life you must also start with a solid and strong foundation, otherwise you will have nothing to ground you when the going gets tough…and there are times when the going will get tough.

What makes a solid and strong foundation?  Is it integrity, a belief in God, ethics, treating others as you want to be treated, a forgiving heart, an open mind, perseverance, willpower or a combination of all these and more?  I say a combination of the aforementioned and more…a solid and strong foundation comes from a belief that you have power in your own life and that you have the ability to change even the direst of circumstances as long as you can keep your wits about you.  If you are a constant reaction in the middle of your life you will be incessantly pinging off the walls and in essence will be powerless to change anything.  Change can only come from being able to choose your response to a person or situation and this ability is born from having a strong foundation.

If I come from a place of understanding that my life is based on principle and based upon something more than my own pathetic self-concerns then I am able to hold myself in place when life hits me with something unexpected.  I am able to observe what is happening and then wisely choose my reaction.  If I come from a place of uncertainty, then when life throws a curve ball I have no choice but to scramble and react, react, react.

As far as my life experience shows being a complete reaction has never solved anything, it usually just brings more trouble.

Seems like it would be prudent for us all to give a little thought to what kind of a foundation we have created for ourselves and then to consider if we wake up every morning resting on that foundation…or do we wake up every morning and base our day on the reactions of the moment?

Wisdom is defined by Webster’s as ‘the power of judging rightly’…my definition of wisdom is something like ‘the conclusions you finally arrive at after life has knocked you around enough’…

Wisdom is something that comes over time and thankfully it is something that keeps expanding as we get older.  Wisdom is when it finally dawns on you that when you keep behaving the same way and doing the same things, you will get the same result.   The opposite of wisdom is insanity which Albert Einstein defines this way, “the definition of insanity is when you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

How many times have we followed the same path over and over again expecting to end up at a different place?  How many of us mirror that mouse running down the same path and still finding no cheese, yet we keep running with the same anticipation and zeal and then we are distraught when the outcome doesn’t change.  Funny thing is– we KNOW better… on some level we all know better, yet we let our inner wisdom sit it out while we continue to behave like fools.

Let’s be interested in exercising our wisdom muscle, it is almost a new year and it seems like a good time to clear out behavioral insanity…what will you change today? xoxo